wraithfodder | Stargate Atlantis: "The Last Man" irrerevant dialogue + screencaps

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Stargate Atlantis: "The Last Man" irrerevant dialogue + screencaps

Yes, the final parody of the season of Stargate Atlantis. Sorry for the delay, but under the cut, you'll find about 40 screencaps and spoiler promo shots, all intermingled into a gripping saga of the perils of being on Sheppard's team. Whump, lust, it's all there!

STARGATE ATLANTIS
"The Last Man"

Chuck is minding his own business. Just doing his job. Doesn’t want a last name as hey, Peter got a last name (Grodin) and look what happened to him! Anyway, being the innocuous gate tech means he can listen into important conversations.

“Why can’t the Daedalus import jelly donuts? Is it too much to ask? All they ever send are powdered donuts,” whines Rodney.

Oh, wait, the important conversation. Sam orders Sheppard’s team to investigate some vague energy readings on a planet.

"”It’s always a vague energy reading! We’re going to die!”

But then again the place does look sorta like a warehouse extension of Wraiith-Mart, so maybe they’ve got cakes.

And what a desolate planet it is, oops, wait, wrong picture.

Rodney has found an old TV set, and he’d snatch it, but he knows that it’s analog and everything’s going to digital on February 17, 2009, so, nah, he’s not taking it for his bachelor pad, er, room.

But wait, he hears a noise. It’s a booby . A booby trap! OH NO. A BOOBY!

“RUN!”

Evil alien blue footed Pegasus Galaxy booby capable of sniffing out at two miles the powdered donut dust on McKay’s uniform. And it’s hungry!

Sheppard shoots at the booby, but to no avail.

And, oh yeah, Sheppard missed the bobby (obviously, I mean, look at those feet, it’s fast!) and hits something sorta flammable. Oops.

We now interrupt this scintillating storyline for an important message from our sponsors!

The new Stargate Atlantis action figures will be in stores soon! They have fully articulated joints, the Sheppard doll comes with hair gel and of course these are action figures as the picture can’t be from the episode as Teyla isn’t pregnant.

Back to our program….

Sheppard returns to the city. Oddly enough, by himself (a lot can happen during commercial breaks, you see).

”I’m home!”

“Hello?”

Sheppard wonders what’s going on.

No sign of Chuck, and there’s a crusty layer of old donut dust on the console. Suspicious.

Sheppard quickly searches the entire city and it’s empty.

Sheppard figures he’ll check outside. Big mistake.

See, it’s sorta desolate outside, too. Too bad Sheppard didn’t pay attention to Act I. Ha!

But he struggles through the sandstorm… (and the producer’s promise of Shep whump comes through – he gets sand in his shorts! Ooh, that chafes….)

So he wanders around, licking donut dust to survive, until he runs into a hologram of a decrepit balding Rodney McKay.

“Geez, Rodney, you look like hell. Guess your homemade sunscreen didn’t work,” comments Sheppard. “What’s going on?”

Rodney explains that Chuck accidentally upgraded a console with Microsoft VistaÒ, and well, screwed up the gate and propelled Sheppard to the future.

And boy, things really went to hell in a handbasket while Sheppard was gone....

Michael never returned Teyla, but instead went sorta bonkers as he hadn’t bargained that when the baby with the great DNA was born, he’d have to change diapers. Oh, the horrors!

Ronon, meanwhile, had decided that ‘Todd’ was responsible for Sheppard’s plight as all wraith are bad, bad, bad. So, we won’t be seeing Todd in season 5.

And Sam, with nobody to go “uh, things are different in the Pegasus Galaxy,” went off on a ship.

Sam snapped under the pressure of mounds of paperwork that Sheppard left behind.

And didn’t notice things blowing up behind her…

So, oops, she blew up. But it was pretty.

And lastly, Rodney regales Sheppard with his tales of sexual conquest!

WARNING! WARNING! Young impressionable minds should not view the following several pictures for fear of residual psychological trauma.

“Rodney, I need you,” purrs a sultry voice.

Yes, yes, Rodney finally gets the girl. Or maybe she just needs some help…

Smooch.

“Uh, is that better?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes, that darn dental floss was bothersome.”

And of course Rodney doesn’t tell Sheppard what really happened (as detailed here).

But Sheppard can see McKay is spinning tall tales. He just wants to know how to get home. Surely in 10 or 40 thousand years, Rodney has figured it out.

“Oh, yes, press the red EASYÒ button on the console and it’ll fix everything,” says Rodney.

And it works!

Sheppard suddenly ‘poofs’ into the gateroom. Unfortunately, while Sheppard was off in the future snorting donut dust off counters, back in the present, the security people were all on edge, hunting down the evil booby, which came through the gate with Rodney. Hence, when they saw a sudden movement, they just shot indiscriminately and nailed poor Sheppard in a hail of bullets.

Alas, for the whumper fans, the great gouts of bloods and screams of agony are censored by the network standards and practices boards as being too gory.

But we’re left with a cliffhanger, of Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet, while the evil booby runs riot on the base….

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Evil Booby for the win!

“Geez, Rodney, you look like hell. Guess your homemade sunscreen didn’t work,” comments Sheppard."

I may have snorted with laughter at this.

I just saw all those old age spots and probably had the tv so was influenced by some skin care ad, plus Rodney it on in, er, "Runner" :)

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parislove27.livejournal.com - 2008-03-16 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

This is hilarious as always. :D I love the booby and the action figures and

So, we won’t be seeing Todd in season 5. My favorite line. :)

ROFL!

Thanks :)

Hah! Dental floss!

Edited 2008-03-07 03:57 (UTC)

If you mean the evil blue footed booby, it IS a blue footed booby. Seriously, that's a real bird, here, on planet Earth :)

Evil Pegasus Booby! *dies of laughter*

I knew I had to dig up a booby picture when I heard 'booby trap.'

(no subject)

teh-bug.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 04:23 (UTC) - Expand

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wraithfodder.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

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wraithfodder.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

I sympathize with Chuck. Vista is evil.

As i currently use it, I can attest it's not the wunderkind system they proclaim it to be...

(deleted comment)

yup, now I get some vacation from capping, unless I figure out something else ;)

10,000 years into the future and Sheppard is still wearing that same damned shirt. Maybe he removes it to make a bandana out of his t-shirt? *looks hopeful*

Seriously, this is hilarious!

Thanks! Yeah, I see that scarf and all I can think of is Lawrence of Arabia (they sure had enough sand to do it) :)

I hope I didn't wake anyone laughing at the booby ... priceless!

Thanks :):)

Sounds like the current piece of ff I am reading......
LOL
This should be good though.....
>:-)

Oh, and what story is that??? :)

Re: ".......Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet,...."

black-raven135.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ".......Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet,...."

wraithfodder.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 22:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ".......Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet,...."

black-raven135.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ".......Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet,...."

wraithfodder.livejournal.com - 2008-03-09 01:36 (UTC) - Expand

OH NO EVIL BLUE FOOTED BOOBEY OF DOOM!!

and that profile of Rodney (kissing Keller! OMG!) looks deliciouse

I'm quite looking forward to this episode.

Muahahaha! Love it, brilliant as always!

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :)

Aw, the Pegasus Galaxy has the cutest deadly alien birds.

Hee hee! Hilarious as always.

All cute things turn out to be evil on TV ;)

Nooooo! Not Keller and Rodney. (Dies laughing at the thought)

Great caps and commentary, as always.

I'm willing to bet the McKeller will all be "AU" ;)

(no subject)

annieb1955.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 20:03 (UTC) - Expand

Not Todd! I like Todd!

Ha!

Betcha Atlantis would be better off if they just switched to MACS!

I'm amazed Rodney doesn't use them...

I'll miss this...

But you'll be back in a few months, yes? :-P

Spikey

Yup, don't see why not...

Keller sure likes to fool around, huh? First Ronon, now Rodney.

Well, still has Sheppard, Zelenka and Lorne to go through as well ;)

(no subject)

annieb1955.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 20:20 (UTC) - Expand

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wraithfodder.livejournal.com - 2008-03-07 22:50 (UTC) - Expand

(deleted comment)

I'm sure Chuck has some good blackmail material so his job's secure ;)

Rodney explains that Chuck accidentally upgraded a console with Microsoft Vista, and well, screwed up the gate and propelled Sheppard to the future.

Dude, I have tears running down my face from that line.

IT'S ALL VISTA'S FAULT!!!!!!!!

Heh, thanks :)

(no subject)

miera-c.livejournal.com - 2008-03-08 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

The last one right??
How long do we have to go through w/d this time??
I need to get geared up for it
LOL

It appears season 5 will return in the summer (so said Alex Levine's blog on SciFi) but no dates set yet.

Yeah, the evil Pegasus booby would throw him off, because we all know Sheppard has no problem staring down the other kind....

=^.^=

Bwahahah! Yeah, the writers do like to pen in that kind of 'booby' *cough*

(no subject)

negolith2.livejournal.com - 2008-03-08 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

A rolling commentary!

But we’re left with a cliffhanger, of Sheppard intubated, bleeding, etc., etc. under a sheet, while the evil booby runs riot on the base…

Ha That would be a great cliff hanger!!

True! Vista is Evil!!

OMG! The Bird! With blue Feet!!

Rodney with age spots!

The dental floss!

Good as always! Going to miss it!!

Thanks! Well, maybe I can do something during the hiatus, but no guarantees...

LOL, awesome story there, I especially loved how the Easy button solved it all.

I must admit I stole the Easy button from Staples. I see the ad on TV all the time and it stuck in my mind and hey, we needed a really quick fix ;)

Thank you ever so much. I don't feel so bad about missing the episode now.

You're welcome. And, the episode will repeat next Friday at 9pm I believe.

That Easy button sure does come in handy. *g* And poor Sheppard, reduced to surviving on donut dust. Curses on Chuck and his Vista. :P

Just beautiful. I always enjoy your version of the episodes.

Thanks very much :) Yeah, that wasn't sand all over Sheppard. It was donut dust ;)

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