Stargate Atlantis Action Figure Theater: Sheppard and McKay Meet Elvis

[wraithfodder]

I did this last week, but forgot to load….

 

The 3H’s. HOT. HUMID. HAZY. 95+ temps and we’re all turning into melting slugs. Even the squirrels are just sitting on the road, dazed, going ‘huh?’ as you drive right up to them and honk the horn – several times - THEN they get out of the way before becoming a gray pancake.

 

So, what is there to do but melt? Wait, wait, a tiny bit of begging and yes, we’re going to the pool! Of course, the ‘boys’ just simply must come.

 

Sheppard and McKay Meet Elvis

 

Sheppard: “It could be worse. Like that pink flamingo a couple weeks ago.”

McKay: “We’re pinned to a giant carnivorous reptile! From the disco era!”*

 

* For those too young to know, this gator is Elvis, named for the gator from the NBC Miami Vice series (not that gawdawful Colin Farrell movie) and it’s about, oh 20+ years old now and still floats!

An obligatory video of the guys just passing by…

 

Sheppard: “Geez, it’s just an inflatable gator. Totally harmless.”

 

McKay: “My hand is wedged in this awful black thing. I need that hand to work the life signs detector, to open up my bubble bath, I mean, to do scientific work!”

Sheppard: (Off-screen) “Bubble bath?”

 

So they switch rides to the bigger Elvis float…

Sheppard: “This is cool. What a view!”

McKay: “Why am I stuck in the back seat?”

 

Unfortunately, in one of those costly special-effects scenes that cost too much to film (aka the camera is not waterproof), the gator floats vanish. Anyway, the guys manage to snag some life preservers. Alas, they didn’t choose the best ones – decade-old party balloons.

McKay: “What’s that hissing noise? Oh god, you're not farting, are you?”

Sheppard: "No, Rodney. My 'preserver' is leaking. I’m sinking, Rodney.”

McKay: “Oh. Not my problem.”

Sheppard: “It will be when I drag you under. We’re tied together.”

McKay: “What?!”

 

The guys fortunately find another ride. They drift aimlessly on a pool raft from another era…

Sheppard: “You know what?”

McKay: “Go ahead. Say it. I know you’re just DYING to say it.”

Sheppard: “What?”

McKay: “Just… say it.”

Sheppard: “This is a Kodak moment?”

McKay: “Gah, glad that bad pun is out of the way now. Now we can relax.”

The guys find themselves stuck in a ‘chick' flick.... *cough*
 

 

But no, they cannot relax. Danger lurks in the cutest of creatures…

The puppy really likes Rodney. Even the people around the pool ignore his cries for "Help! Help! Genius in trouble here!"

Alas, for Sheppard, things get hairy.

Unfortunately for Sheppard, the puppy liked him even more…

Sheppard: “HELP! Ouch. Get your teeth off my crotch!”

 

Sheppard: “Hey, I need that hand!”

 

So the cute puppy obliges.

Sheppard (mumbling sarcastically into cavernous mouth): “Oh yeah, much better…”

 

 

THE END

 

Well, the boys were down at the pool when the family came down, complete with baby and puppy. What happened with Rodney and the baby was simply too hideous to photograph (the baby thought Rodney 's head was a GREAT item to suck on), and the puppy just glommed onto Sheppard as soon as he got out of the pool.

 

Must admit though, these action figures are durable little guys! 

Comments

[libra-traveller.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha. I was like, noooooo Rodney! Heeheee.

[mercury973.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful *wipes tears from laughing*
Poor John- covered in dog slobber

[ltcolerrandboy.livejournal.com]

They're durable cos you only have a puppy...there's a person on GW who's Sheppard action figure had his fingers chewed off completely by their pet rabbit! :LOL:

[reedfem.livejournal.com]

No action figures were harmed in the making of this production...

Mine are not having half so much fun.

[http://users.livejournal.com/avtor_/]

Poor John - еternally gets in trouble. ))))))

The puppy is fine! )))))))

[mackenziesmomma.livejournal.com]

I realized while reading this I have been spending way too much time at work as I wondered what would happen if the boys were to show up in my viner. Oh the fun they could have in a giant machine that chews up peas.

Oh and why is it that I had a hard time scrolling down to see the rest of the puppy chews on John's head picture?(this is rhetorical).

[ancientcitadel.livejournal.com]

These would be interesting photos to take to a convention. I wonder who would like them more, Joe, David or one of the other cast members?

[abracah.livejournal.com]

Oh nice! A whumper puppy!! Yeah for you! Love the live action shots. At least the hair won't be messed up!

[leesa_perrie]

Oh, poor action figures!! LOL! Glad they survived the attacks from baby and puppy!!

[flingslass.livejournal.com]

There goes John's chance to reproduce :D

[monkey-junkey.livejournal.com]

I love that your puppy just sits there chewing on John's head, hahahaha.

John and Rodney at the pool

[sgafan33.livejournal.com]

Ha! I wish I could think up dialog like you.

Just to let you know that these adventures of yours inspired me to take John and Rodney to the San Diego Comic-Con. Where I learned that my arms are too short to pose them in front of things and have them in focus. Ah, well. I did get a few photos that I may end up posting. My attempts in taking pictures did make some people smile so that's a good thing. And I got interviewed by a Malaysian TV station, so maybe the boys will be on TV. In another country.

[mcsheplovers.livejournal.com]

Has anyone ever posted a link to your McShep adventures over on DavidH's blog? I bet he'd get a huge kick out of it!

I love checking into your blog! It's always chock full of information and very entertaining!

[jedi40.livejournal.com]

Poor John can't even get a break from a puppy.

[celestial-diary.livejournal.com]

ROFLMFAO!!! You're crazy! I loved it! These are getting addictive! I'm actually looking forward to you making more and more of these. Keep them coming!

And Shep whumpage! LOL!

[pisces227.livejournal.com]

You are such a great whumper. These are hilarious.

[flubber2kool.livejournal.com]

I have only just discovered this. Its priceless.

Thank you for sharing.

[dieastra.livejournal.com]

I finally found out what my mistake was. I totally overlooked the "Previous 20" at the bottom of the parody tag page. So, more stories for me to discover.

Although I expected something completely different with this one. Because, I own an Elvis-figure and thought you would do something with this. Do you know the Audi advertisement with the shaking Elvis at the front Window?

So this was unexpected but fun nonetheless! Did I hear that right, you even add sound effects to your videos? I mean during the chick flick video. I don't think that bird sound was there to begin with?

I love the colors in the Kodak moment. Blue water, yellow mattress...

But I really think you ought to buy some more action figures so that your puppy can have some on his own. If he likes them so much...