wraithfodder: (critter-scream)
[personal profile] wraithfodder
@apndrgn on twitter asked if I'd do a 'how to behave at cons' for fans since I'd done an Actors Guide to Stargate Fandom already.  So, go beneath the cut for my point of view as a fan...

There are probably a gazillion things to say, but here are some general pointers.

1. Bathe. Seriously. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to a convention and had someone (usually male) go by and waft of eeeeeuuu-when-did-you-last-take-a-bath?? It's just common courtesy and face it, if you're a guy, and your favorite actress is there and you pose with her, don't let her last memory of you be "wish he'd used a deoderant!"

2. Dress appropriately. Sure, wear your favorite t-shirt with a silly saying, Dress up as your favorite character, but use common sense. If you're 300 pounds, don't wear spandex. Wear enough so that you don't get yanked aside and be told to cover up.In fact, please please please use a mirror, or ask a friend who can be honest, if your outfit looks okay. Unless you don't mind the comments, make sure you're not wearing clothing two sizes too small. And oh yes, you really shouldn't wear t-shirts with profanity on them. It doesn't impress the actors, and peeves adults who bring kids. If you do a LARGE con like Comic Con, wear comfortable walking shoes or else you might end up with plantar faciitis (I speak from experience!)

3. Children. The old adage of children shoudl be seen and not heard can apply to a degree at cons. If you go to a convention, remember that many actors like to tell stories that might not be appropriate for children. Babies should simply be left with a babysitter, because a) they can scream at the wrong  time, and b) if that diaper suddenly needs changed, you'll miss out on the talks while you run off to fix the problem.

4. Bring enough money. Cons are not cheap. Not really. Most Creation cons are at airport hotels or sort of locked in, and the food prices can be high. if you can afford it, stay at the host hotel. This means you can stay up late and not risk getting flattened by an SUV while crossing the road. It's simply a matter of planning ahead. I have seen fans just literally flat broke at the end of a con and wondering how they'll get home. Scary.

5. Food. This depends on the con you attend. Some have food stations (can be pricey), others have restaurants, others you're on your own. It's always wise to bring along some snacks and bottled water. If you go to a Comic Con, yes, bring survival rations, cuz they are HUGE cons.

6. Sitting in the Audience. Sounds simple, doesn't it? But so much can go wrong. The people behind you who can't stop talking, the ones who insist on yelling out something to EVERY question. Believe me, the rest of us do NOT want to hear it.

7. Don't be a snob. That may sound weird, but it happens. You're a Stargate fan, but you ONLY like Daniel Jackson. Don't diss other fans if they like Jonas Quinn, etc. etc. While yuo can say you don't like something, don't put it down like "only idiots like that," etc. 

8  Have fun, but remember that in this day and age, nothing you do or say in a public place could end up on YouTube. Yes, people take photos left and right, take videos, post this stuff on the net, so if you call in sick and your video shows up on YouTube and your boss finds it....

One of the best ways to have fun at a con is to go with a friend, or meet up with fans you've met on the net, etc. In other words, socialize! And oh yes, if you like to buy, bring a comfy backpack. Comes in  handy for bringing back the loot :)


Okay, onward to the big stuff, the actors, producers, etc.

1. Actors are people. They are human beings. THey are not action figures to hug, grab their ass or other parts of the anatomy, etc. without their express permission. Many actors may shake hands, but try to feel them out (not literally!) if that's okay. The men usually don't mind, but women may be a little more less touchy. And for heaven's sake, if you run into any of the celebs in the bathroom, let them be!! The facilities is NOT the place to ask for photos or autographs or anything else!

2. The false sense of familiarity problem. As fans, we know a LOT about the actors. Iti's all over the web. Actor A has a chihuahua named Spike, he likes to run and eats Chinese on Sunday morning. If you run up to an actor and start blathering all this, it might unnerve them. They know zip about you, after all. So, show common sense. There are fans whom the actors do know (the fans do a lot of cons). However, do NOT abuse this informal relationship by taking up extra time in autograph lines, etc. .

3. Q&A sessions. They are for the benefit of ALL the people in the room, so please don't a) ask the actor to sing happy birthday to you or yours (especially if the actor doesn't want to sing or can't sing - yes, some cannot sing, believe me), b) tell them how much you adore them, etc. etc. (save that for a fan letter) or c) insist on giving them a present. Q&As are a finite time period. Those types of things eat up precious that a fan could have asked a question. When asking questions, don't ask boxers/briefs. Unless of course you want to tell them what YOU wear first *cough*. It is also NOT the place to sing a song to the guests (cringing at that fan at Comic Con last year or before- argh!) Ask a sensible question. Don't start your question with a lengthy preamble that goes on for two minutes. Don't ask "Why should I watch your show? I heard it sucks" (Yes I heard that question once!). Ask something you'd find interesting to hear the reply on, and something you think others might know. Stay away from personal questions of the actors. ALso, the actors can't recite an episode word for word, or remember what was on the table in episode #202, etc.  .

4. Autograph lines. Don't ask the actor to sign your boobs or butt (it's just, well, tacky!). Don't ask an actor to sign fan fiction (particularly slash - just cuz you like it doesn't mean they like it even know what it is!). Many cons have rules on what can be signed, so check before you go to the con to make sure you don't drag along something that can't be signed, or to make sure you buy something that can. Even if you're shy, this is basically your one real chance for a brief one-on-one chat, so if you like their work, tell them that. They do appreciate knowing that fans like what they do.

5. Photo Ops. Well, it's up to you what you wear. Or don't wear, etc. Many actors are fine with just side by side posing, and others will ham it up immensely. Depends on the con, on the actor, on their frame of mind. As in rule #1, make sure you wear deoderant and spare the actor an unpleasant experience (not to mention the rest of us) and ladies, don't overdue the perfume ;)

6. Those pricey lunch/drink things. Many cons are now doing 'yes, you can have a one hour drink/lunch/brunch with so and so and 8 other fans.' These cost an and a leg (hundreds). Let's say you can afford it. Just don't monopolize the actor with questions (and this goes for the cheaper 'dessert parties' too).  

That's about it. I did this quickly, so I'm sure I missed something and have no problem updatnig/correcting, etc. So much is just common sense. Remember that while the actors are there making an impression on you, you too are making an impression on the actors, producers, dealers, etc.

Oh, and if you take pictures, bring batteries. buying them at a hotel can be $$$$. Rechargeables are good.

I've done a lot of cons, both pro and fan, and have seen the best and worst in both. Some conventions are more like events (Creations - everything ala carte, expensive) while fan cons like Shore Leave etc. have more paneling, more stuff to do. And one huge huge reminder. NO actor/guest is guaranteed to be a convention, even if you shelled out $$$$ to see him/her. They all have it written in their contract that if  they have conflict (i.e., a job) they can cancel, and frankly, wouldn't you rather see your favorite actor wokring than at a convention?

Anyway, that's it. Feel free to add comments below or tweet me at wraithfodder at twitter.

Ah, here's a good guide too! http://www.stevebacic.com/w_conguide.shtml.
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Date: 2009-07-21 12:29 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-21 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
Basically with children, my thought is that babies shouldn't be brought to cons. They sleep, eat, etc. on their own schedule ;)

As for limting what an actor can say. I think it truly is up to the convention to let the actor know (since it's tough to see if kids are sitting in the audience) if it's got a large section of young folk. I did attend one con with Jason Momoa and well, he used the "F" word rather loudly, unaware I guess there were tykes in the audience. For me, that's the extent of bad language I've heard, although I've heard one or two SG1 actors certainly have a vocabulary! ;) And I think in one of those instances it was a nighttime caberet event.

I don't think there's any perfect solution to this but have no probelm agreeing to disagree ;)

When I've come across folks who are, well, odorous, I normally just hold my breath and get upwind. I've never gone 'take a bath!' otherwise i would have told a few coworkers that a few years ago... Have never heard a skin condition like that, but that's very interesting to hear about.

Oh yes, be courteous to hotel/restaurant staff! I'd like to think that goes without saying, but...

Date: 2009-07-21 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
Good points, but what are soap leaves??

Date: 2009-07-21 12:38 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-21 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
And share the pix if you can :) I love the folk who upload shots on Flickr and other sharing accounts.

Date: 2009-07-21 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
I'll be that's true.

Date: 2009-07-21 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
HA! Fench! Love that term ;) Nice valid points. And the sleep. Yeah, unless you're really young and can get by on 4 hours sleep a night. Been a LONG time since I"ve done that.

Date: 2009-07-21 12:44 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-21 12:55 am (UTC)
aelfgyfu_mead: SG-1 in the infirmary (Team-infirmary)
From: [personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead
Oh yes, be courteous to hotel/restaurant staff! I'd like to think that goes without saying, but...
Sadly, it doesn't. When I was in college, I reserved two rooms in my name for a big group of us. At check-out time, I did my OCD check of both rooms, just to make sure no one had left anything. I hadn't been in the other room before since the first day.

I was mortified. The other group had left a mess. There was garbage from meals they'd brought in, and for a tip they had left in a heap all the change they had. Canadian coins were neatly on top of the pile--and this con was in Chicago. It wasn't as if the staff was going to slip over the border to spend them. I only had a few minutes to clean it up. I managed to get up a little of the trash. I took the Canadian coins myself and tossed a small bill or two on the pile; it was all the cash I had left. The pile of coins was big enough that I could hope it was worth the staff's while--but I had to think it was just plain insulting to them. (I never took a second room again. My friends were all in the one room with me, and these were friends of friends.... In retrospect, it was stupid, and I should just be glad they didn't do actual damage for which I'd have been liable. But I was young and foolish then.)

Thanks for telling me about Jason Momoa. Good to know in case of future cons with Small Child. I might have suspected anyway--I've heard from several people that he puts away a fair amount of beer before and during panels and autograph sessions! Chris Judge and Michael Shanks were fine for the cons we attended, but I heard about another one where Chris started cussing, then said he'd give a dollar to every kid in the audience each time he did it again, and he did it at least twice more. He did pay up, though! (I can only imagine that my child would gladly relieve him of his money and then later say, "Ooh, Mom, did you hear what he said?", but he did nothing of the sort at the Vulkon we attended.)

Date: 2009-07-21 01:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
I first heard the term "fench" applied to the odor wafting out of the 24-hour Gaming Rooms at OryCon. You could walk down the hall, past the open doors to the Gaming Rooms, and smell the fench by the time the con had been going half a day or so... Serious ICK-factor there. :-(

Date: 2009-07-21 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
"...then there are those who smell like they fell into a vat of musk 'perfume'..."

Oh, GAG, Yes. Perfume does NOT make up for lack of bathing/showering! And if someone can smell your perfume when they're not "hugging"-close, YOU USED TOO DAMN MUCH! Your "right" to wear perfume ends when you make the people sitting next to you start sneezing. (Sorta like your "right" to play your car radio ends when I can hear it in MY car even with my windows rolled up.)

Really, you don't want to have ANY noticeable smell (even a supposedly "pleasant" one) at a convention. Many people (including some of the actors you want to impress) have allergies to scents, too, and THEY have as much right to enjoy themselves as you do.

Date: 2009-07-21 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
Bring some powdered or tablet-form "just add water" dietary-supplement (Zip-Fizz, Acai Energy supplement, etc.) or even a little bottle of lemon concentrate to put in your water-bottle. That way, even if the tap water's not all that great, it'll taste okay with the additive's flavoring. Why pay $$$ for bottled water when you can fill your own bottle and be "green" as well as frugal?

Be SURE to drink at least one quart-bottle-equivalent per day of NON-alcoholic beverages: conventions are held in dehydrating venues (air-conditioned), and dehydration leaves you FAR more vulnerable to "Con Crud" infections.

Airline-security-acceptable "sewing kit" alternative:
Put a couple embroidery needles (larger "eye" so easier to thread) into a plastic container of plain waxed dental floss. The floss is stronger than sewing thread, and has its own non-scissors cutting edge built in. Tape a couple spare buttons onto the floss package, and you're set for most repairs...

Date: 2009-07-21 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
Alas, you can really tell a person's personality by how they treat waiters and such. There's even a book on it now! I swear, when my friends and i are out at cons, we always stack dishes neatly for the wait staff and leave good tips if they've been good. And when I check out of a room, I leave it tidy! Yeah, probably anal, but that's the way we were taught.

Well, yeah, have heard (and read) that Jason was busy drinking beer at Shore Leave. I've heard that chris and Michael together can be something else. Don't know if it still occurs. In fact, I think that was Shore Leave too!

Date: 2009-07-21 02:30 am (UTC)
aelfgyfu_mead: Aelfgyfu as a South Park-style cartoon (Aelfpark)
From: [personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead
Oh, and I didn't mean that YOU personally shouldn't say anything about people not bathing, but some FANS don't know not to say anything! Brilliant Husband's friend got well and truly tired about complete strangers advising him on hygiene--and then, if he told them it was a skin condition and a doctor was treating him, some would try to offer more advice anyway!

Date: 2009-07-21 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
"... be courteous to hotel/restaurant staff..."

Absolutely. Unless the service has been LOUSY, tip high. The difference between 15% and 20% may seem minimal to you compared to the cost of the meal, hotel, etc., but the wait-staff will appreciate it. Also, do NOT blame the on-site staff for "lousy service" that's due to management not having enough people working the restaurant on a convention weekend. Far too often, I see hotel restaurants where ONE poor overworked waitress is trying to serve twice the usual number of tables 'cause her moron boss didn't add staff in consideration of higher (convention) demand. When you see some poor waiter scrambling, TELL them you understand, cut 'em some slack, and leave a big tip. Then fill out a "comment card" so the MANAGEMENT knows they have to add extra staff the next time there's a con there. Next con, you'll likely see enough staff, AND they'll have a good impression of con-goers. (At many repeating cons, the hotel has staff who'll ASK to work the weekends we're there.)

Hotel-room tips: leave at least $1/person/day, EACH day, since you may not get the same person cleaning the room every day. If you need extra stuff (towels, shampoo, soap, pillows), leave a note for the Housekeeper along with the tip... If you have extra people in the room, but you tip generously, the maids won't "rat you out" to management.

Date: 2009-07-21 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-raven135.livejournal.com
You don't want to have ANY noticeable smell (even a supposedly "pleasant" one) at a convention.

It should be subtle, not immediately noticeable.
I especially find musk base intolerable.
When I used to fly a lot my biggest nightmare was that someone wearing a hefty amount of musk base would sit next to me...........and it would not be some local hop, but one of those 12 hour ordeals, e.g. across the Pacific....
>:-(
Fortunately, it never happened.
I love perfume, and men who wear after shave, but NOT when the smell arrives before the person who is wearing it.....
Along the same line of thinking, I kind of think Flanigan might smell really good, close up.
>:-)

Date: 2009-07-21 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
Actually, I have a few friends who're in the "attend every con" and "the Actor Knows Their Names"... but they're people who run the Actor's Fan Club, or built and run the Actor's website. Just because Jane SuperFanGrrl, who updates Actor A's web-page every week and handles all his online fanmail, gets a big smile and a hug, do NOT expect you can get the same reception just because you saw him last year at WhatsitCon.

Date: 2009-07-21 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amycat1959.livejournal.com
"Don't use your children to get attention from the actors, it's tacky."

Amen to that. And the ADULTS in the audience who've paid full price for their tickets do NOT want the actors to self-censor their off-color jokes because someone's brought a too-young child. Maybe we WANT to hear Michael Shanks tell that silly but somewhat rude story of a costume malfunction or whatever; when he asks "THere aren't any small children here, are there?", we're the ones who sigh sadly when Mommy Dearest chimes in with "OH, yes, over here!" and he SHUTS UP.

"...don't ask [actors] to act out the ship..."

Oh, PLEASE spread this one around. Likewise, if Actor A comes on stage and gives Actor B a nice big friendly hug, do NOT Squeeee loud enough to shatter eardrums just because their CHARACTERS are your fave Shippy-pair.

Date: 2009-07-21 04:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedi40.livejournal.com
Had that happen as well and yes you would thing they would know better.
Though when one of the babies cried during Jason's and Rachel's talks it made them upset since it made them miss their own young ones (Caiden was there in the con hotel) but it still made them miss them.

Date: 2009-07-21 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alyssa22.livejournal.com
So many of them do, though. It's pathetic.

And don't get me started on the ones who say that meeting an actor saved their lives. That's just sick.

Date: 2009-07-21 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
Fortunately, have not seen that kind of fan yet. However, have run across jealous fans. I did a minder bit for an actor once and much to his horror, I abandoned him after the autograph signing. I'm standing there with a heavy armload of junk, er, gifts fans have given him and he's busy yakking with fans and I"m like "I'm outta here!" so left and took all the junk back to my room. He then came to my room later and we dragged all the stuff to his room cuz he took it all. I had to help him pack as I told him, you don't put the really hard item on TOP of the bottle of liquor (this was years before 9-11). It was fun, but it is hard work to be a minder. And that's totally off-track, isn't it?

Date: 2009-07-21 11:56 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-07-21 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
I still remember, eons ago, when I went to a celebrity hockey game and Jason Priestly came out on the ice. I swear, my eardrums shattered from all the teens screaming.

Date: 2009-07-22 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wraithfodder.livejournal.com
:) No problem. Yes, I've met er, fans who insist on telling you anything they think they should. ;)

Date: 2009-07-22 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedi40.livejournal.com
Caiden is a real cutie, I tried to get a picture of him but thought I better not, and give him the privacy he needs.
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