Stargate EEEEUUUUUUUniverse (yes, that's a commentary)

[wraithfodder]

Casting spoilers, and er, commentary *cough* beneath the cut.

Okey-doke, casting spoilers borrowed from http://www.morrischapdelaine.com/posts/show/83, an actor who has worked on Stargate.

Read them, and well, weep, if you're a Stargate Atlantis fan. SGA got the hook and now this will replace it...

Character Breakdowns, Stargate Universe 03/09/08

Colonel Everett Young. 40’s handsome, capable, former SG team leader.  Like the Jack O’Neill of ten years ago, but Young’s edges have tended to sharpen over time. He requested permission to serve the remainder of his commission on Earth upon marrying his wife, Hailey, two years ago, but for now he’s temporary commander of a secret off world base.  The loss of two members of his team several years ago has taught him never to take anything for granted, and be prepared for anything.  He stays on top of his team so they stay alive.

Tamara Johanson. 20-25. SGC Field medic, Captain grade. Off world experience. Beautiful, tough, smart, capable.  Paramedic level  training. Able to triage serious injury. Modest background. Dreamed of being a doctor but couldn’t afford medical school and the Air Force was her best option. She ends up being the most medically inclined person on the ship but is overwhelmed by the lack of knowledge and experience treating seriously wounded and ill patients. She also lacks the medicine and supplies and has to make do.

Cloe Carpenter. 20 ish. Stunning and sexy. Daughter of a U.S. Senator.  Silver spoon upbringing and a little spoiled but not stupid either. Politically and socially savvy. Dreams of following in her father’s footsteps but for now she’s a bit of a party girl in her first year at an Ivy League school. Her father’s tragic death and the  dire circumstances of being trapped on a spaceship seriously tests her character.

Eli Hitchcock. 20-25.  Total slacker. Utter genius. Mathematics, computers, anything he puts his mind to.  Acerbic sense of humor. A social outcast. Comes from a broken home. Lacks confidence because his true intelligence has never really been recognized like Matt Damon’s character from Good Will Hunting with a little Jack Black thrown in.

Lt. Jared Nash. 20-25. Junior SGC team member. Officer material but green and rough around the edges. Every teenage girl’s fantasy. Like a college quarterback thrown into his first pro game, he is thrust into the role of leader well before he’s  ready for the responsibility and must learn to take command, earn respect through action, and manage the diverse personalities on the  ship to keep everyone alive. Like Jason Bourne, he is skilled and well-trained but mentally unprepared for the urgency of the situation.

Ron “Psycho” Stasiak. 20.  Marine.  Big, strong, silent.  You want  him on your side. You don’t want him mad at you.  Lacks control over his temper in non combat situations.  His emotional expression ranges from sarcasm to anger.  His past is a mystery but it’s clear something dark formed the hard shell around him. Yet, there must also be some moral center because otherwise he’d kill everyone around him.  Think Eric Bana’s character  “Hoot” in Blackhawk Down.  Adam Baldwin at 20 could play him.

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I'd make a lot of pithy comments, but I already did it elsewhere. I'm *hoping* this is a joke, that they can't possibly be serious about these descriptions, as it sounds just bloody awful. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Paris Hilton is TOO old to be cast as Chloe, otherwise she and her latest pet-as-an-accessory could scoop that role!


 

Comments

[negolith2.livejournal.com]

I have a theory explaining this odiferous piece of crap.

Wright and Cooper are at that time of life where a mid-life crisis is emminent (if not going full fledged already). Instead of going out and buying a Corvette (or in their case, they could afford a Bently), they decide to listen to Martin Gero's wanker fan-boy fantasies and say, "Wow! That would be totally cool on screen." So they hire Martin as head writer, decide to do away with SGA because there aren't enough hot women (and who wants to watch hot old men with personalities anyway - ooky). Well, they share this idea with the mid-crisis suffering execs at MGM and they scream, "Genius! Boobies and science fiction! It'll be a hit! Kill SGA!" And they embrace Martin's wanker fan-boy fantasies to their graying, drooping man-boobs as well.

And of course we know JM will jump onto the bandwagon because he's a great spin doctor to make up for average writing skills.

:o Oooo, did I come off a little too snarky there? =^.^=

[n7cdrsheppard.livejournal.com]

What makes your comment really scary...is you are probably right. so sad....

[wraithfodder.livejournal.com]

Oh, an 8 on the snark ;) Is Gero going over? Mallozzi, oddly, has been very quiet about the goings on past the show ending. I wonder if he's not included in the new show? I mean, how many Indian Chiefs do you need on a show??

[lysambre.livejournal.com]

My view on Malozzi's silence so far : He got angry at some people (on his own blog) for saying that this had obviously been planned for a long time (the cancellation). I do believe him when he says that he didn't knew about it and was quite shocked by it, but I also believe that Brad Wright and Sci-fi had this one planned for a lot longer than they've let their own staff know. And Malozzi and others are probably realizing that too right now, plus they must be wanting to commit suicide over the fact that if this isn't a joke (and apparently it isn't as some people are already putting names down for the auditions), then they're going to have to write this kind of complete and utter crap.
They probably hate the idea as much as we do right now, and they are all desperate, hence the relative silence.

[negolith2.livejournal.com]

I don't know if Martin is, but from what I've of him in clips and whatnot, it fits his juvenile-ness. And yeah, JM has been very quiet, except for the few times he was being a cheerleader for SGEeewwww.

[lysambre.livejournal.com]

Nope not too snarky.

Thing is, friends and I have been thinking that it's getting seriously creepy those 2 middle-age guys absolutely wanting more young females into their cast.

[negolith2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does twinge the old creepy vibe all right. It's like the anime fixation with school girls....